Personally I’ve always considered myself a game developer / programmer-type person morseo than a YouTuber. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy making videos or that I want to stop, because I love making them and consider them a really fun part of my whole creation process, but I never want to make a low-effort game for the sake of creating a video.

Games for videos

Something I see all too often is people making low effort games, not for the sake of learning or creating something out of creative expression, but simply to get something cheap out they can make a video on. I want to make it clear that I understand why someone would want to do that, but it’s not something I want to do. I am by no means a “trend follower,” in fact I really hate intentionally creating videos following trends and actively try to create games with unique ideas I have (my list currently contains around 30-40 ideas I believe).

Creating games for videos and creating videos for games are very different things. I was briefly part of a hyper-optimized game dev-exploiting scheme where a former friend would make devlogs while outsourcing everything, including the game development, to other people like me, and overall the project just made me unhappy. I had to sacrifice a lot of quality and the overall reception was pretty bad. I’ve written posts about it before of which are now gone, but I’ll revisit the idea in the future when I feel particularily bored.

I make videos for games. That means I create a game first, I try to bring it to a good, solid state, and then I create a video on it. Along with that I put a lot into my videos which also makes them take a while. The point is, making videos on a schedule isn’t my top priority. I want to be proud of the game before I show it off to the world.

Auuughhhhhh

As of late I’ve been struggling over a few problems in my process, mainly guilt over not getting a video out on schedule and not being super active in creating supporter-only updates and videos on YouTube. I’ve been very busy with school, along with a never-ending game project I’ll post about very soon, and I’ve felt kind of unhappy about how little time I’ve had to make games I want to make. Now, I’m not saying this to get your sympathy, I am extremely grateful to be in the position already and I’m super happy to have all you weird internet people supporting my stuff, I just want to explain this properly, as I haven’t really taken the time to do so prior.

The point

What I’m trying to say is:

I’m sorry for taking so long, don’t expect me to speed up. I’m a game developer first and foremost, and I consider myself an artist in that sense and do not want to sacrifice quality of the game in order to accelerate my process. I’ve felt so caught up I haven’t been able to work on my newest video, let alone my current game projects, and I may need a bit more time, but I’m always trying to create stuff. I love what I do, but it takes a while.

I’m not quitting any time soon, and I can’t wait to get my next projects out, whenever that may be.

P.s.

One more thing: since I’ve started to figure out a mood for this blog I thought I’d rewrite my introduction page if that interests you. I hope to try and make this blog a bigger part of my online output as I’ve gained a bit of distaste towards parts of social media culture so if you’d like to always be up to date on the weird topics that interest me, updates on life and game projects, and whatever else then subscribe to my RSS feed with your favourite RSS reader! I recommend NetNewsWire for iOS and Thunderbird for desktop, but I don’t know much about Android RSS readers. (Email me your favourites?)

I’ve also been working on some silly web projects in the little free time I have had, so feel free to look around my website and i-eat.rocks (yes that’s a REAL website I have to PAY MONEY for) :3

That’s all from me, I’m so excited for you to see what I’m working on,

-Ax 🩷